The Seeds of Today

We have had a lot of rain this summer, especially up at our Cabin in the western North Carolina Mountains. While it does curtail our hikes and canoe trips, (and makes things a damp all in all), it has lead to some much needed family time. We have cooked more meals, played more games, and watched more movies than normal this summer; certainly nothing to complain about!

Well over a recent weekend, I was struck by the “sampler” (pictured here) that was sewn by my grandmother (yes, MaMa) many years ago. We had hung it up at the cabin, alongside a quilt that she had sewn, as a fitting reminder of her legacy in our lives and of her wonderful art! For some reason on a drippy Saturday morning I was struck not by the stitching or the overall design, but by the text featured on the samples…” All of the flowers of all of the tomorrows are in the seeds of today.” I had grown up around this piece of Mama’s needlework but I had never really focused on the words, or their meaning to me at that moment.

We have just finished our first year after the sale of Bolthouse Farms to The Campbell Soup Company, and we have been wrapping up our plans for our upcoming fiscal year this summer. I have been so proud of the four years (hard to believe it’s already four years!!!) that I have been associated with Bolthouse Farms. We have accomplished a lot as an organization and are poised well for the opportunities and challenges in the future. With that said, as we look at the fiscal year ahead we have a lot to DO to turn all of our plans in market centered realities.

I have been struck through my career on the overall need to take action and be focused on superior execution, rather than superior intentions! This idea is not just a concept of our times, but has deep historic resonance. The prominent German writer, Goethe, is famous quoted as writing that:


Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!”


This notion of diving in, taking action on “what you can do, or DREAM you can do” is such a powerful idea. We are often slowed by our own uncertainties or insecurities. Is our idea really any good? Well maybe we need to do more research? The list of self-doubting questions goes on and on. Goethe is challenging us to not only act on what we can do today, but to take action on what we just might be able to do tomorrow!

As I look at MaMa’s sampler, I am reminded that she and Goethe (and many others of course) are all saying one thing. Take action and take action now on what you think you can do or maybe dream that you can do! Don’t wait for something else to happen or someone else to make the first move. Take action now! We all want to enjoy “all the flowers of all the tomorrows” in our personal and professional lives. Mama (and Goethe) is calling us to focus on getting busy planting “the seeds of today!”

Lessons of Life From Cooking Camp

My sweet daughter Marie, know too many of us as “ReRe”, is the center of this story that reinforces the idea that we learn the lessons of life in sometimes unexpected moments and locations. Over the past few years, I have shared stories about “turkey bags”, mountain hikes, Paris Metro stations, and historic family recipes. Well today my daughter’s experience at a summer cooking camp is the backdrop for a few moments of insight and wisdom.

Well I was back on the road this week with a number of key meetings in Santa Monica and Bakersfield. We had recently come back from a marvelous family vacation, so getting back on the road for a whole week away was a total bummer. The kids are busy this summer with all kinds of great activities, and this week was Marie’s week to attend a week long cooking camp at a local kitchen/cooking store. Marie has already established herself as our “cupcake queen” with her baking prowess, and is now expanding her horizons across the culinary spectrum. I love the fact that she shares my passion for cooking and I look forward to our time together in the kitchen!

I checked in through the week with my early morning calls to the family as they started their days back in Atlanta. Everybody was doing well, busy with their respective plans, and Marie was enjoying being at camp with a number for her close friends. In my call yesterday from my morning walk on the streets of Bakersfield, there seemed to be a different tone on the phone. Marie was clearly upset about something that had happened at the camp and with all the limitations of cell phones; I wanted to know what had happened. She shared that their big end-of-week competition was planned for Friday, and that she and her friends were teamed together to compete against the other kids at camp. They had to create, plan and cook a complete meal that would judged by the teachers and shared with the families of the campers. It sounded so cool, now I was really curious why/how Marie could be upset.

She shared that her little team had come up with a great menu (bruschetta, caprese salad, roasted pork tenderloin, and upside down strawberry shortcake….. total yum!!!) And as they were sharing it with one of the teachers, some girls from another team listened in and decided to replicate their menu item by item. They were cheating and Marie was understandably hurt, surprised, upset; you name it. The emotions were expected and predictable, it was her response that caught me by surprise. As she told us about the other girls and their actions, she shared that “she would rather lose than cheat;” such a moment of truth from my sweet 12 year old on her way to cooking camp!

In our era of media scandals of entertainers, sports figures, politicians, and financiers all cutting corners, bending the rules, or blatantly cheating to get ahead, Marie’s advice to all of us is powerful. The ends don’t justify the means … they never have and never will! We are judged not solely by “what” we accomplish in life, but maybe more importantly on “How” we live our lives. Are we generous and kind to others in need? Are we fair and truthful in our dealings with friends and strangers alike? Do we love our neighbors as ourselves? These are certainly some of the core questions in life and I am humbled and proud of Marie’s response from cooking camp that she would “rather lose than cheat!”

Let the Ball Come to You

Over the past 90+ essays on this blog, I have often written about surprising and unexpected learning moments. Whether in a cab in Bakersfield (“The Story of Clarissa”), a walk in Des Moines (“Long look Garden”) or at a summer job many years ago (“The story of Floyd”), I have had a life filled with little stories and moments of insights and learning’s. Well last weekend that list continued to grow at my 30th college reunion.


My wife Jennie and I both graduated from The College of Wooster class of ‘83 (learn more at: www.ctcl.org/colleges/wooster ) 30 years ago this spring. We both deeply enjoyed our time there and look back on that fine liberal arts experience as a powerful foundation for our adult lives. Thinking about the reunion, we looked forward to getting back to campus, seeing old friends, telling a few old stories, showing off the campus to our kids for the first time, and getting caught up on all the positive things happening at the college. Jennie had a very active role in planning the events for the reunion and the entire weekend was packed.



Well the weekend was a ball, the campus was beautiful and the whole experience was a huge success! We haven’t laughed that hard in years (which is a reminder to actually work harder to stay connected with life-long friends …. More on that idea in an upcoming essay.) At one of the evening events I ran into a fellow alumnus from the class of ‘88 who was a member of my fraternity. After a few stories about mutual friends (those stories will NOT be featured in any future essays) we shared a bit about our current professional lives. I talked about my journey after Wooster, through an MBA at Vanderbilt, and on through marketing and sales career at Kimberly Clark, Kraft Foods, The Coca-Cola Company and now my current fun at Bolthouse Farms. He shared that he had recently left a long career in the publishing industry and he was pushing hard to make the “next thing” happen and he just wasn’t sure what that was going to like. There was clearly a bit of stress in his voice when he shared the story of his recent job change.



This poignant moment occurred late one night last weekend after a great beer tasting event; having just met this guy what was my next move? Well without too much deliberation I shared a piece of advice that I had been given many years before, which was to … “let the ball come to you.” In the late 80’s I had been at a crossroads in my career, wanting to make a change but not finding the right role/right company/right town/right boss/etc. It seemed that the harder I pushed, the less successful I became. Think about the idea of “professional quicksand”, the more you struggle, the faster you sink. Well I was pushing and really getting nowhere. A friend who was working in the sports broadcasting field at the time said, “Bill, run your route. You can’t be the quarterback AND the receiver. Run your route and let the ball come to you.” At that moment I thought the advice was too simple, and maybe off track. I had to do everything in my power to create and close on opportunities, … right??? Wasn’t that what I was taught at B-school? Wasn’t that the American model of Capitalism???



To say the least I did indeed heed that advice, and in a few months I had an interview at
The Coca-Cola Company, for a role that was perfect, for a boss that was great, in a city that I loved, that I nailed!! (Because I was ready to “catch that ball”) I shared that whole story with my fellow alum and while I am not sure what he is going to do with that story, it reminded me of how poignant that message was for me. In the scope of life we often think we have to be both quarterback and receiver on so many fronts. Maybe if we could all take just a little breath (any maybe one more sip at the beer tasting, ha!) and focus on running our “routes” of life well and being really prepared to make a great catch when “the ball comes to you”, we might all find a bit more peace and a bit more success as we face the challenges ahead.

Jump the Shoal of Life

The only way to describe it was that it was a “pivot point” of life that I will never forget. Last Thursday night, at Eddies Attic in Decatur Ga, my sweet son was the opening act …. Yes his first professional gig and he totally rocked!!!

I had come back from a business trip a number of weeks past and heard the Bryson announce that he was going to open for Sydney Rhame, a marvelous young singer songwriter who was the headliner on May 30th. Now Bryson has been really working on his guitar and I knew he was very talented (a proud father comment of course) but the opening act? Just him? A 30 minute set of his own original music? Really??? I was convulsed by questions and nervousness. Was he ready? Were his songs really good enough? You know the normal kind of nervous parent questions, which only seemed to lead to more questions rather than a lot of easy answers.

Well the important fact highlighted above was that Bryson announced his plan, he didn’t ask our views/thoughts /or permission. When he was asked by Sydney to be the opening act, he quickly and confidently said yes. No asking or pausing, just yes.

Well to say the least we all were a bit nervous as we (Bryson, Jennie his awesome Mom, Marie his very encouraging sister, and dear old nervous Dad) headed to the club last Thursday night. As Bryson went off to do the sound check, we settled in and started to greet the growing number of friends and family who came out to see the show. It was amazing; 30 kids from his school came to see him and the show was sold out with 150+/- folks crammed in to the little club.

Well before you knew it, Bryson was up on stage (see picture above) and started his set of original songs. I am not sure how to describe my feelings during his 30 minutes on stage that night. Beyond proud, beyond impressed, beyond affection… maybe in another language there is a single word for the feelings I felt. In English all I can say was that I was totally blown away with pride and love, swimming in tears, listening to that boy sing and play his guitar.

In one of his songs, titled “Yearning”, Bryson says to “Jump the shoal of life and take my hand,” quoting Shakespeare’s Macbeth. The lyrics were poignant and deeply thoughtful; musically the song was intriguing across various tempos. Right there at about 8:30 last Thursday night, I had stopped being just the proud doting dad, I had become a fan!

Well Bryson finished his set, we all went crazy, and Sydney came on stage and totally rocked for over an hour. As the closing song of the night, she had Bryson come back on stage and they performed a cover of the Lunineer’s “Stubborn Love.” The whole evening was fantastic and pretty unbelievable! To say the least I felt ashamed of all of my doubts and early questions, now clearly washed away by the talent and the applause! As I age and work to become a better and better Dad, I know I will have more of these pivot points with Marie and Bryson; moments when their talent and courage push me out of being the nervous doubting dad to just being a raving fan!

Gratitude, the Key to Happiness

Last Monday started off more hectic and scattered than most days. It had been a very busy and over scheduled weekend, after an exhausting week of travel the week before. The weekly sales numbers had come in softer than expected and the level of urgent AND important (see the blog essay “The Tyranny of the Urgent”) email traffic that morning had hit a fevered pitch. The week ahead also seemed daunting, heading west later that day for key customer and planning meetings throughout the week, looking to arrive back in Atlanta by 11pm Friday night. Just reflecting on last week quickens my pulse and raises my blood pressure, ha!

Well with that lead-in, I was obviously not feeling very grateful or happy when I drove off to grab a quick lunch with an old friend, before heading to the airport last Monday afternoon. We sat down and quickly caught up on what each of us were doing professionally and personally. Early on in our conversation it became clear that all the things I was griping about, (the business headaches, the travel, the upcoming planning meetings, etc.) all seemed to sound pretty good to my friend Sean. When I shared that later that same night I would be crashing at a hotel near our offices in Santa Monica, Sean’s eyes lit up remembering that same hotel and how close to the ocean it was located. I left that lunch nudged a bit by it all, trying to understand what I was missing. Was my day/week/weekend so terrible or stressed that I just couldn’t see how lucky I had it? Had I totally lost my perspective on all the tremendous things in my life because of a few tiring days?

As I headed to the airport, I checked in with my work partner and dear friend Cathy and as I shared my lunch revelations/musings she quickly commented that “you know Bill, Gratitude is the Key to Happiness.” As is often the case, Cathy is a source of truth and perspective and as my attitude and focus started to change /improve, I literally googled her quote and immediately found the following:

Gratitude: A Key to Happiness
William F. Doverspike, Ph.D.


Although happiness is sometimes viewed as a state that can be reached by achieving some goal or acquiring some possession (e.g., "I would be happy if only _____"), psychological research suggests that happiness is more related to being grateful for what we already have. Gratitude is a subject that has received considerable attention in psychological research. The efficacy of gratitude interventions has been studied in clinical samples (Duckworth, Steen, & Seligman, 2005), student populations (Sheldon & Lyubomirsky, 2006), and general adult populations (Seligman, Steen, & Peterson, 2005).

Gratitude visit. In a placebo controlled empirical study, Seligman, Steen, and Peterson (2005) validated the gratitude visit as a way of increasing happiness. Compared to participants who were instructed to focus on a time in life when they were at their best and to reflect on their strengths, participants who engaged in a gratitude visit reported more happiness for one month after the intervention. Participants were given one week to write and then deliver a letter of gratitude in person to someone who had been especially kind to them but who had never been properly thanked. They were instructed to perform the exercise for only one week. The gratitude visit involves three basic steps: First, think of someone who has done something important and wonderful for you, yet who has not been properly thanked. Next, reflect on the benefits you received from this person, and write a letter expressing your gratitude for all he or she did for you. Finally, arrange to deliver the letter personally, and spend some time with this person talking about what you wrote.
Using another intervention known as "three good things in life," Seligman, Steen, and Peterson (2005) asked a different group of participants to write down three things that went well each day. In addition, they were asked to provide a causal explanation for each good thing. The participants were instructed to perform the exercise every night for one week. At the one-month follow-up, participants using this exercise were happier and less depressed than they had been at baseline. More importantly, they stayed happier and less depressed at the three-month and six-month follow-ups.

Gratitude journal. Empirical studies have shown that those who kept gratitude journals felt better about their lives. Compared to those who recorded hassles or neutral life events, those who kept gratitude journals on a weekly basis exercised more regularly, reported fewer physical symptoms, felt better about their lives as a whole, and were more optimistic about the upcoming week (Emmons & McCullough, 2003). A related benefit was also observed in the realm of personal goal attainment: Compared to research participants in the other experimental conditions, participants who kept gratitude lists were more likely to have made progress toward important personal goals (academic, interpersonal and health-based) over a two-month period.

A daily gratitude intervention (self-guided exercises) resulted in more positive effects that did the weekly intervention. A daily gratitude intervention resulted in higher reported levels of the positive states of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, attentiveness, and energy compared to a focus on daily hassles or a downward social comparison (ways in which participants thought they were better off than others). Compared to participants who were instructed to focus on daily hassles or social comparisons, those who used the daily gratitude intervention were more likely to report having helped someone with a personal problem or having offered emotional support to another person (Emmons & McCullough, 2003).

Suggested steps. Consider making a gratitude visit to someone who has been especially kind or helpful to you but who you have never properly thanked. Reflect on the benefits you received from this person, write a letter expressing your gratitude, and make arrangements to personally deliver the letter and discuss what you wrote. After making your gratitude visit, start keeping a daily gratitude journal of three things that go well each day. Reflect on three good things that happen each day as well as their possible causes, and write down these things in your gratitude journal at the end of each day. At the end of a month, review your journal, reflect on how you feel, and identify someone to whom you will make your next gratitude visit.

References
Duckworth, A. L., Steen, T. A., and Seligman, M. E. P. (2005). Positive psychology in clinical practice. Annual Review of Clinical Psychology, 1, 629-651.
Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). Counting blessings versus burdens: Experimental studies of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84, 377-389.
Seligman, M. E. P., Steen, T. T., Park, N., & Peterson, C. (2005). Positive psychology progress: Empirical validation of interventions. American Psychologist, 60(5), 410-421.

Sheldon, K. M., & Lyubomirsky, S. (2006). How to increase and sustain positive emotion: The effects of expressing gratitude and visualizing best possible selves. Journal of Positive Psychology. Special Issue: Positive Emotions, 1(2), 73-82

I will let you all be the judge of Dr. Doverspike’s premise and whether his ideas of a “Gratiutude Journal” or a “Gratitude Visit” would work for you. What I do conclude is that all of us in our busy lives could benefit from just a few minutes a day to think about all that we should be grateful for in our personal and professional lives. By focusing less on the work/emails/texts/etc. that have not been accomplished versus focusing more on the people/accomplishments/special moments & memories from our lives I am confident that we will be more “grateful” in our day to day lives and ultimately happier!

The World Needs More Love

When I started out in early 2009 to share a few “lessons and stories of leadership and life,” I had no idea that now 89 essays later (yes this is #90!) I would still have a number of things to share, and maybe none more timely and important than this topic today. Over the years I have often jokingly shared in a moment of business strife , or petty personal turbulence, that “the world needs more love” ; trying in my own way to nudge the listeners of the moment to try to choose a more hopeful, maybe even a more loving solution to the issue at hand. Well surrounded and at moments engulfed in the violent madness of our times, this “quippy” admonition seems timely and very important.

It was two weeks ago that I landed in Boston, the morning of the marathon, to attend a 3 day global leadership conference. Our hotel was about a mile from the finish line and we had a member of our team running in the marathon that fateful Monday and a few of us were planning on going over to watch him finish. Due to some “required “rehearsals that afternoon, I stayed back at the hotel while a few members of our team headed over to the finish line. At 2:50pm that afternoon, everything changed with the twin explosions and the senseless injury and death brought on to so many innocent bystanders. Standing in the hotel lobby a mile away, I watched with the world the news headlines as sirens streamed by heading to the bomb site. Quickly armed police came to our hotel and everything went into a lockdown mode. Surprisingly quickly we were able to contact our friends who were over near the finish line. All were physically ok but it would take hours before they could work their way back to our hotel. Obviously so many others were not nearly so fortunate and over the past two weeks the violent and senseless madness of the Tsarnaev brothers has been evident to the world.

With that said, if you actually take a close look at the headlines over just the past two weeks, they are filled with violence and madness all across our world. Now it is so easy for me to say that “the world needs more love”, but I feel strongly that we are going in exactly the wrong direction. Regardless of creed, nationality, age, sex, or belief system, the world does not need more hatred or violence! It does not need more cynicism or critique! It does not need more maiming or killing of innocent children! It does not need more weapons or war! It DOES need more love!

Over the past 89 essays I have tried to keep my personal political and spiritual views on the sidelines knowing how divisive those topics can be. Instead I have tried to share my ideas and suggestions in ways that would, or at least could, appeal to a broad set of readers regardless of orientation or nationality. It’s actually very interesting to see that of the almost 15000 readers so far, there is a wide audience of readers from countries so varied as Ukraine, Iran, The Netherlands and Canada. It’s in that spirit that I want to quote a previous essay (The Golden Rule at Dulles Airport.) In looking over religions spanning across countries and continents, there is a strong common thread that we should treat others as we wish to be treated. Reflect on the commonality across so many traditions!

The Universality of the Golden Rule in the World Religions


Christianity All things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye so to them; for this is the law and the prophets.
Matthew 7:1
Confucianism Do not do to others what you would not like yourself. Then there will be no resentment against you, either in the family or in the state.
Analects 12:2
Buddhism Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful.
Udana-Varga 5,1
Hinduism This is the sum of duty; do naught onto others what you would not have them do unto you.
Mahabharata 5,1517
Islam No one of you is a believer until he desires for his brother that which he desires for himself.
Sunnah
Judaism What is hateful to you, do not do to your fellowman. This is the entire Law; all the rest is commentary.
Talmud, Shabbat 3id
Taoism Regard your neighbor’s gain as your gain, and your neighbor’s loss as your own loss.
Tai Shang Kan Yin P’ien
Zoroastrianism That nature alone is good which refrains from doing another whatsoever is not good for itself.
Dadisten-I-dinik, 94,5



Now maybe my simple admonition might seem a touch naïve and that the idea that “the world needs more love” should be obvious to all. It is certainly clear from the headlines of our time that we need to work harder on this idea, actually working to turn this concept/idea/belief into real action; actually choosing paths and actions of love not hate rather than being the innocent bystanders on the sidelines of this race we call life.

Praise in Public, Coach in Private

Across a business career that now spans well over 27 years, I have had the chance to experience and learn a wide variety of lessons from a wide range of inspirations. In some instances it took me years to realize the power and impact of a key lesson (as described in a recent essay “Execution is THE Strategy) and in some situations I have been applying and sharing a lesson that I learned years ago, the source of which is now lost in the fog of time. Thus let me preface this essay to say that I am certain I owe the following idea to some historic boss, teacher, or peer and I officially apologize for not being able to more appropriately credit the source today.

As you can easily see from this blog, I believe deeply in the power and importance of Leadership and am always working on my craft in this area. It’s an honor and a privilege to lead teams and so often leaders literally blow it by thinking they can “drive” organizations to do their will, execute their strategies, and follow their directives. In my experience successful, engaged organizations are ones where the leaders follow the three simple principles of leadership; to educate the minds, inspire the hearts, and direct the hands and feet of their teams. (Learn more about these principles in the essay “Three Impact Points of Leadership”) it’s in this context that this simple of idea, to “Praise in Public, Coach in Private” comes to life.

There are so many “leadership moments” that occur every day in a leaders work life that it is impossible to pre-plan your message/tone/approach for every high impact moment. Certainly there are key meetings, presentations, speeches, etc. where pre-planning is a must; being intentional about your content, your context and your approach is not optional! It IS a requirement of leadership. My comments today are about all of those unplanned, unrehearsed moments that are high impact situations without the benefit of pre-planning. In my experience keeping the idea of “Praise in Public, Coach in Private” close at hand will serve all leaders well.

Praise in Public: in situations where you encounter positive outcomes or positive actions from your team, don’t shy away from praising the individual or the team publically. Whether live, on a conf call, or on a group email, let the team know WHAT you like in the situation and maybe more importantly WHY you like it! Let it out, don’t hold it in! Your team wants and NEEDS to know what you value and what great performance looks like. Across my years in business I have never been in a situation where I have felt an organization had too much praise, or had “become soft” because of excessive praise. Across all the engagement surveys and team input sessions, the lack of feedback from senior leadership was MUCH more common an issue.

Coach in Private: in situations opposite from the above, where the results and/or the approach to the work did not meet expectations try to avoid public environments for pinpointed/direct/negative feedback. If you really want that individual/team to learn from the moment, the last thing you want them thinking about is their embarrassment in front of their friends and peers. Equally for high performing associates who “got this one wrong”, you as the leader owe it to them to quietly and privately dive into the situation to see where they or maybe YOU got it wrong as well. Berating high performers publically is a typical first step for those associate to actually listen when headhunters call.

While it seems simple enough, I can promise you it is often hard to put into practice. Recently I participated in a board meeting where the leader became energized on a specific issue brought up by one of his direct reports. Rather than deciding to “Coach in Private”, he dove into the individual with a growing stream of critique and reproach. Not only did the other board members feel left out and ignored the individual in question (a high performer in the company) ultimately shut down and the discussion literally stopped. Was there learning? Was there insight? Was there progress?

Now I know there will be moments where all of us will struggle to bring this idea to life consistently. We will be tempted to “Coach in Public” and maybe “Praise in Private” or more likely to not praise at all. Keep the simple idea of “Praise in Public, Coach in Private” present as you go through your busy lives of leadership, and I am confident that not only will you be a more effective leader, your organization/team will be more energized, engaged, and your results will be more successful.