Just one more visit

 Yesterday, 2/29/24, was a poignant and powerful day for me... visiting my dear Aunt Lorraine at her assisted living/memory care facility in New Jersey.  It had been far too long since my last visit, and Aunt Lorraine's condition continues to degrade... and while the visit was deeply a sad one, I was very glad to be there.  I arrived late morning, and sat with Lorraine for almost an hour before lunch, showing her family photos from when we were both much younger... some from when she was a young girl with my mother ( her sister) Arline.  I wasn't sure she recognized anyone in the pictures, but she was attentive and I got a few smiles out of her as we went over the pictures page by page.  

I wasn't prepared for my "responsibilities" at lunch time, when one of the care givers asked me to "help out" and "feed" Lorraine her lunch.  While I was intellectually aware that Aunt Lorraine wasn't feeding herself, I wasn't prepared to take on the job of literally feeding her every bite of her lunch yesterday.  As we worked our way from the salad to the soup and ultimately to the Spaghetti & Meat sauce ( which I literally cut up into VERY "small bites" which seemed very fitting!!)   I focused on her every bite, trying to keep as much as possible from spilling.  At one point, as I brought the straw from a  cup of juice to her lips, she raised her hand and rested it on my hand as she took a long sip... whether she knew it or not, that gentle "touch" of her hand brought tears to my eyes and I felt so fortunate to be serving her that lunch.

I share all of these details in a way to remind all of us that life ( and health, capabilities, strengths, etc.) are fleeting and that life is to be lived NOW.... here and NOW!  Ten years ago I posted an essay titled " A heartwarming selfie" about a very different visit with my Aunt Lorraine... take a look if you have a second: https://fylegacy.blogspot.com/2014/06/a-heartwarming-selfie_4.html.  As I re-read that essay this morning, I was struck by the closing two paragraphs that are printed below.... and how glad I was to have had that "one more visit" with Aunt Lorraine yesterday.  My encouragement is to take a few moments and think about the people in your life who you want/need to see just "one more time" if you can and take action now to pay that visit... you might even be able to feed them lunch! 

As I drove home, I thought about seeing Lorraine and all the people from our past now gone, whom I would love to have a chance to visit with again and sit around a dinner table and enjoy a meal. Of course I thought about my mom Arline Wark Levisay, Lorraine’s sister, now almost forty years past. I thought about my Dad, his mother Mama, her sister Marge and husband Adley, my mother-in-law Jane and her daughter Carrie, my friend Bruce …. and as I drove west towards Philly, the list continued to grow. What would I give for just one more visit, one more dinner, and one more chance to sit for a few hours and catch up??

As I made it back to my hotel with a beautiful sunset in sight, it was clear to me that the lesson from my visit with Lorraine was simple; see the people you love NOW, while you can! If you have a chance for a few hour visit, do it NOW, no excuses! Life is lived with no rewind feature. We only have NOW and hopefully tomorrow, but you never know. Sure life is busy and work priorities, and outside obligations often get in the way, but work hard to fight those seemingly “urgent” obligations and focus in on what is truly “important” in life, sharing time with those you love! Take a few hours and visit “your Aunt Lorraine” and take a “Heartwarming Selfie” of your own to remember help you remember the moment for years to come!