Holiday Wishes

With a view on a snowy Christmas day in West Newbury Vermont, I want to pass along my very best holiday wishes to everyone!  Thinking back to a recent  blog entry where I commented that "the world needs more love,"  here are a few thoughts/inspirations from a variety of sources:

Lyrics from U2's song, "One"

One love 
One blood 
One life 
You got to do what you should 
One life 
With each other 
Sisters 
Brothers 
One life 
But we're not the same 
We get to 
Carry each other 
Carry each other 

"We frail humans are at one time capable of the greatest good and, at the same time, capable of the greatest evil. Change will only come about when each of us takes up the daily struggle ourselves to be more forgiving, compassionate, loving, and above all joyful in the knowledge that, by some miracle of grace, we can change as those around us can change too."

Maíread Corrigan-Maguire

Nobel Peace Prize winner and co-founder of the Community of Peace People in Northern Ireland.

Lyrics from the Beatle's "All you need is Love"

Love, love, love, 

love, love, love, 

love, love, love.

There's nothing you can do that can't be done. 

Nothing you can sing that can't be sung. 

Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game It's easy. 

There's nothing you can make that can't be made. 

No one you can save that can't be saved. 

Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time - It's easy.  

All you need is love, all you need is love, All you need is love, love, 

love is all you need.

Finally, with a nod to my favorite movie,"It's a Wonderful Life," there is a scene in the middle of the movie, where George Bailey is in his office at the building and loan and on the wall, underneath the photograph of his recently deceased father Peter Bailey, there is a framed quote that rings true:

"All you can take with you is that which you've given away."

Happy Holidays and Happy New Year!

LAX Terminal 5

Thirty years ago as a freshman in college, I read Mircea Eliade’s book, The Sacred and The Profane.  While I won’t try to summarize the book here, its central thesis is that the core of all religions is highlighting and maintaining the distinction between what is sacred and what is profane.  I still remember writing a freshman class paper on that topic, identifying various worldwide sights that had been “sacred” for multiple religions.  Examples included Hagia Sophia in Istanbul, originally a Byzantine cathedral that was transformed into a Muslim mosque, and the temples at Angkor Wat in Cambodia, originally built as Hindu shrines then transforming themselves into Buddhist temples. 

Whether we think about sacred spaces as such grand historic models, or as a simple neighborhood church, synagogue, temple, or mosque, I have always thought of sacred spaces as unique places apart from the daily grind.  For me, there is a chapel at Emory University that stands out, having been the site of my wedding, the wedding of my sister-in-law, the christening of my two children, and the memorial service for another sister-in-law.  There is nothing about that physical space that I find “sacred,” yet every time I enter the chapel I am overwhelmed by the memories and experiences, the smiles and the tears, and the heartbreak and the joy. 

It’s with this background in mind that I fast forward to a recent trip to Los Angeles.  I have been working a lot in Southern California recently and flying regularly through LAX.  On a recent trip, I was at the gate with some time on my hands, waiting to board the flight back home to Atlanta.  In typical fashion, I had my I-Pod on, listening to random songs on a playlist, and writing a draft for a blog entry.  The first song that came on was Johnny Cash’s version of “Hurt,” which instantly reminded me of my friend Bruce.  I remembered sitting by his hospice bed before he died this summer, talking about music and him telling me about this specific song.  The next song that came up on the random shuffle was Jeff Buckley’s version of “Hallelujah,” the song that was played at the graveside of my sister-in-law Carrie.  It was just down the hall here in a men’s room in LAX’s terminal 5, after helping to clean out Carrie’s apartment after her death, that I changed out of my cleaning clothes and threw them away in the trash bin. 

After those two songs, my blog writing had ceased, and I was waiting for what song might be next.  It came from the Indigo Girls, with my sister-in-law and band member Emily singing  “I’ll Change.”   It was a song that I played for Bruce this past spring – in the final chorus of his life – on a ride through the Wisconsin countryside.  It was at this moment, sitting by gate 59B, that I broke down and began to weep.

Without a word, an older woman sitting a few chairs away reached into her handbag, drew out a pack of tissues, reached over to me and mouthed the words, “Keep it, it’s yours.”

 A simple act of kindness to a stranger, offered with grace, received with tears.

I understood then that somehow LAX’s terminal 5 had become “sacred” for me.  Through some amazing combination of random song selections, road weariness, and the kindness of a stranger, I became aware of what this otherwise “profane” place means to me. I’m certainly not suggesting for you to head to LAX’s terminal 5 to seek inspiration.  The walk down the central hall, past McDonald’s, a bookstore and a coffee shop, likely would come off rather generically…just another airport terminal.

What I am suggesting is that for me, that spot has taken on greater meaning.  For me, that hallway, those seats, the one specific men’s room, all evoke a set of memories and feelings that I find truly powerful.  My encouragement is to find the LAX terminal 5 in your life.  Look beyond the historic definitions of “sacred” or “inspirational” spaces and look into your life and history.  Find those spots, those unusual yet everyday locations, that allow you to be connected to your feelings, your experiences, your history, and maybe most importantly, to those who you love or have loved.

I am certain that Eliade was not referring to LAX when he wrote, “the religious symbol translates a human situation into cosmological terms and vice versa …. This means that man does not feel himself ’isolated’ in the cosmos.”  Look for your LAX terminal 5 as a way to allow yourself to be connected to, rather than isolated from, the world and the cosmos.

The Advent "four step"

On a recent Sunday, the pastor of our little Lutheran church, Pastor Bradley, gave a simple yet powerful children’s sermon, obviously not solely targeted at the little ones. He shared a few thoughts about the meaning of Advent, the time of preparation, and he asked the kids to recite with him four key ideas: Worship Fully, Give More, Spend Less, and Love All. Once the kids had the four phrases down, he had them follow him around the altar, repeating the four phrases as they walked, ultimately bringing the entire congregation into the act reciting loudly: Worship Fully, Give More, Spend Less, Love All, Worship Fully, Give More, ……

While moving and poignant at the moment, those four simple ideas have continued to grow for me over the past days and I’ve been thinking a lot about how each phrase connects to my life and me this holiday season. Whether you have a faith tradition (be it Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, or another) or not, these four ideas can be helpful and powerful to all of us as we head to the end of 2009.

Worship Fully: The dictionary describes “Worship” as “The feeling and expression of reverence and adoration for a deity.” In this season, it is so easy to become lost in the hectic consumerism of the holiday season. It’s hard to take a step back and remember that the axis of the universe does NOT spin around our individual lives, but that we are all part of a larger cosmological dance. Regardless of tradition, this is a good time to step back and be thankful and appreciative to have the chance to participate in the dance called life.

Give More: As I mentioned in a previous entry titled “The Lens of Success,” it’s important to remember that half of the world’s population of more than 6 billion people live on less that $1.00 a day. We take for granted how much we have, and need a reminder that there are tremendous needs not only half way around the world but in each of our communities every day. Over the years, Jennie and I have hosted an annual holiday party that we’ve titled “Peas on Earth.” As a price of admission everyone is asked to bring canned goods, and we collect, sort, and deliver them to the local food bank. Over the 17 years of holding the party we have collected thousands of pounds of food, yet the need at the food bank continues to grow – not decline – every year. All of us have a few things we can share today, whether it be a few dollars or a few cans of peas.

Spend Less: For those of you who are parents, you likely will relate to my metaphor of an overflowing toy box. My kids’ “toy boxes” are filled with a cornucopia of dolls, games, balls, puzzles, etc. On a somewhat regular basis, my wife will bring out the donation bag and we’ll sit with our children and work our way to the bottom of the “toy box” to see what toys that are not being played with might be still be in good enough shape to donate to those in need. Our lives are like the “toy boxes.” We surround ourselves with stuff and things, needing temporary storage units to store the stuff in until the day comes that we want to downscale and simplify our lives. Then there is a mad rush to find a destination of all the “stuff.” Maybe by spending a little less now, we can work on ways to simplify our “toy boxes.”

Love All: Certainly the most challenging phrase of the four. Pastor Bradley did not encourage us to “love more,” or “love fully,” or “hate less.” His nudge was in the word “all.” How do we love all, especially the ones we don’t want to love? How do we love neighbors or acquaintances who haven’t seemed very nice? How can we possibly love the Taliban, or Al Qaeda, or Hezbollah or some other group seemingly intent on our destruction? There are no simple answers on this one, but a few things are clear to me. The world needs more love and less hate… the world needs more compassion and less indifference… and the world needs more giving and less taking.  

As you find your way through the holiday season, remember these four phrases. Find ways to bring these four ideas to life in your everyday life. Whether by circling the altar at your church/temple/synagogue, walking around your kitchen table at home, or speaking them out loud in your car, look for ways to step out of the rat race and practice these four “steps” in the dance of life.

Thanksgiving notes from MaMa

Thanksgiving Ideas From MaMa

The Tobacco Plug

Sometimes we learn from the most unlikely of places. A number of years ago, I went to visit my grandmother, then 82 years old, in White Sulphur Springs W.Va. I didn’t visit her often, but since she was going to be alone that Thanksgiving Day, I thought the least I could do was to stop by for a long weekend. After a fine meal filled with wild stories of family members long passed, my grandmother announced that she wanted to pay a visit, over the mountains, to her sister Marge the next day. The plan was set; early after breakfast I would drive “Mama” over the mountains to Marge’s farm.

The trip began without event, with Mama strapped into the front passenger seat of my bright yellow 1976 Datsun B-210. Now, my car was a lot like most of my friends’ cars. It wasn’t much to look at but was filled with interesting distractions: cassette player, dart board, two or three bottles of beer, an old pair of Nike’s, and – maybe surprisingly – a small pouch of Levi Garrett chewing tobacco. Unfortunately, it was the tobacco that Mama spied first. Immediately she asked if it was mine. How can you lie to an 82-year-old grandmother? “Yes, Mama, it’s mine,” I replied sheepishly, not sure of what question was next. “Do you want a plug now?” was the next question out of Mama’s lips. I wasn’t sure what my response should be. I did indeed enjoy a little chew while driving in those days and we had a few hours to get to Aunt Marge’s farm so, hesitantly, I said yes!

What Mama then did was a mix of art, love and history. She proceeded to tell me that her father, William Bryson Hill (the namesake of my son Bryson), chewed tobacco every day of his life, and was very particular with how he liked his plug. With that, she began pulling leaves out of the pouch, pinching off the stems and butts and smoothing those tobacco leaves out in her soft leathery 82 year old hands. After nine or ten leaves, she tucked the ends and rolled the leaves into what looked like a small black cigar. “Just how he liked it,” she said, with the glint in her eye of a ten year old and in the voice of an old woman. With that she passed me the plug and said it would last all day.


Thinking back on that day, now 27 years past, I realize I had the chance to actually experience history. I never asked Mama the last time she had made a plug of tobacco for her father. Was it 1910? 1915? Certainly no later that 1919, when she went off to “Standard School” to become a teacher. Regardless of the exact date, I felt a powerful sense of the hand of my great grandfather, reaching across the decades and thanking his eleventh child, my grandmother, for a fresh plug.

Over the years I have tried to replicate the plug that Mama rolled that day. I have counted out the leaves, picked off the stems, even rolled and tucked the ends into a small plug. Even with practice, it’s never been the same. It’s often that way in the lessons of life. We must find a way to keep our eyes open in the here and now. Too often we are worrying about something that is looming in the future, or maybe ruminating over something that has happened in the past. This life of ours is happening “live,” right now in the present! We need to keep our eyes open, ever expectant to experience history, and possibly to receive a tobacco plug from another century.

Lens of Success

I’m not certain when it started. Sometime maybe ten years ago my wife, Jennie, and I were asked the question, “What do we aspire for our children?” At that time we had only my son, Bryson; Marie had not yet appeared on the scene. Without much hesitation, we responded that we hoped for him to be happy, healthy, self-sustaining, and a productive citizen. Jen and I hadn’t discussed it in detail. We hadn’t used any sort of analytical process to clarify priorities. I don’t even remember if I came up with some of the ideas, and Jen others. What I do know is that for the last ten years or so we have shared those four simple priorities numerous times and our conviction around them continues to grow.

Interestingly, as our children have grown, the questions from family and friends about our views of their future have become more and more pointed. Someone will hear Marie at the piano and ask whether we hope for her a musical future and career. Another person will see Bryson pitch at a little league game and ponder about his potential as a left-handed big league pitcher. Regardless of the vector of the question, we always respond with our four wishes, that whatever they choose to pursue, we aspire for them to be happy, healthy, self-sustaining, and productive citizens.

As often happens with parents who actually listen to things they say to/about their kids, I started to reflect on these four simple aspirations and wonder how they apply to me. Over the past 20+ years of my professional life, I have aspired to and achieved numerous goals. I have had the chance to lead large organizations, be accountable for large P&Ls, travel professionally all across the globe, and attend amazing world events. Additionally I have had the chance to work closely with a range of well-known individuals including numerous corporate CEOs and a former U.S. President. Regardless of the achievement associated with these experiences, did they drive me to be happy, healthy, self-sustaining, and a good citizen?

As I reflect not only on my life, but also on the world at large, I am reminded of the dangers and limits of certain definitions of success. In a recent conversation with an old friend, we compared notes on a worrisome phenomenon. Both of us had worked for major, publicly traded, Fortune 50 companies. In both, there was a tendency inside the culture to view senior executives in a different light than all other employees. My friend commented that in his company, “it seemed that if you were a Vice President or above, you weren’t just in a higher position than others, you were a better person than others.” When did the title of a job, define the character of a person? When did professional promotions recognize core human values? I have known numerous senior executives across my career whose characters couldn’t hold a candle to the associates within their organizations.

The past few years, with the worldwide economic challenges, must remind us that material achievement is not the highest calling of humanity. When did materialism and consumerism become the ultimate aspirations of humanity or America? We cannot allow ourselves to be tempted to think that one’s purchasing power actually defines one’s character. We must aspire for more, or maybe actually less. The following are a few touchstones that may make better aspirations for all of us than Gordon Gekko’s simplistic admonition that “greed is good.”


We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
-- Declaration of Independence

“I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."
I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.
I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.
I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.
I have a dream today!
I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of "interposition" and "nullification" -- one day right there in Alabama little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.
I have a dream today!”
-- Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., “I Have a Dream” Speech


While these two points of inspiration may seem a challenge in the day-to-day routine of life, maybe we can all start by considering our own “lens” of success, and by aspiring for our kids, ourselves, our countries and our world to be:
happy, healthy, self-sustaining and good citizens.

"To whom much is given, much is expected"

Anyone who has ever known me, worked with me or even spent a half-hour over a cup of coffee with me knows that I’m an optimist. Maybe it comes from falling in love with the movie “It’s a Wonderful Life” as a boy, or maybe from losing my mother at a young age and realizing that life is a precious treasure. Regardless of origin, I try to view each day as an opportunity rather than a chore. And while I don’t completely believe that “practice makes perfect,” (I know nothing in human achievement that can be described as “perfect”), I do believe we have an infinite ability to make tomorrow better than yesterday.

To put it simply, I try to live on the sunny side of the street.

But things got a little cloudy the other day when I had lunch with an old friend. He is in his late 50’s, in good health, and retired a few years ago with a tidy nest egg in the high seven digit range. He dreamed of lots of golf and lots of time with grandkids...and appears to be enjoying both. But what dominated our conversation were not tales of birdies and babysitting, but the impact that the financial decline had on his precious nest egg. It became clear that the market contraction between 2007 and 2009 caused a similar contraction of his savings. This certainly had a significant impact on him, one that was dominating his thoughts and disturbing his dreams. Instead of trying to relate my blog story of “Anton Ego” I decided to take a different path.

Referring to World Bank data from 2008, I started to share the income facts of the world for with friend. I reminded him that the world has just over 6 billion residents, and that while it seemed hard to believe from our comfortable seats with lattes in hand, almost 1 billion people live on less that $1.00 perday. To make the point even harsher, almost half of the world – just shy of 3 billion men and women, boys and girls – live on less than $2.50 a day. Finally, I reminded him that more than 80% of the world, almost 5 billion souls, live on less than $10.00 each day.

I know it’s easy to get caught up in our worlds and our lives, with our issues and challenges. We all do it! While losing millions of dollars from your retirement savings is no small concern, remembering the millions that you still have may be the better place to start. I am not sure what my friend is going to do differently in his life, but I can promise you that the nature of our “coffee chat” changed dramatically.

Try to remember that we all have so much compared to most of the world. What can we offer at our local food banks and soup kitchens? What can we generously give to UNICEF, CARE, or other groups across the world? Whatever form it might take, we can all do more and the world is crying out now more than ever.

A recent report on world poverty paints a haunting picture.

According to UNICEF, 25,000 children die each day due to poverty. And they “die quietly in some of the poorest villages on earth, far removed from the scrutiny and the conscience of the world. Being meek and weak in life makes these dying multitudes even more invisible in death.”

Sure, it’s painful when our portfolio takes a hit. And maybe we can’t avoid a little rain on our side of the street. But how can that possibly compare to the plight of the rest of the world? With that message ringing in our ears, I am convinced that while I don’t think we can make tomorrow “perfect,” there is so much that we can all DO to make tomorrow better than yesterday…
EVERY tomorrow better than EVERY yesterday!