Modeling Positive Leadership in a Time of "Anti-Models": Reflections on Civility, Stability, and Generosity of Spirit
Learning from the Best—and the Worst—for Leadership That Matters
Throughout a long and storied career, one may accumulate lessons from a remarkable array of leaders—some who illuminate the path forward by the force of their example, and others who serve, almost as powerfully, as anti-models whose flaws become cautionary tales. In this essay, I want to share decades of experience reflecting on the indelible marks left by both types. I do so not with the wistfulness of nostalgia, but with the urgency of a call to action—a call made especially acute by the troubling rise of “anti-models” in today’s turbulent political and workplace landscapes.
If leaders are, in part, creatures of imitation, then the imperative to model what is right, rather than what is toxic, becomes a matter not only of personal integrity but of societal survival. I want to suggest that leadership is always, at core, an act of modeling; the behaviors we choose are magnified in our organizations and ripple outward into the culture at large. The importance of this modeling has never been more apparent than now.
The Power of Models and Anti-Models
Opening with a spirit of gratitude, I need to acknowledge the positive influence of great leaders across my career, two of which I mentioned in a recent essay: Neville Isdell at The Coca Cole Company, and Bruce Paynter at Kimberly-Clark. These individuals, and many others like them, have left me with enduring blueprints for effective, humane leadership. Yet, in the same breath, I want to be candid about the negative examples that I have encountered across the decades: those who, through arrogance, incivility, hubris or instability, became “anti-models.” These individuals modeled exactly what not to do.
Rather than merely lamenting these negative influences, I view them as instructive. There is wisdom in learning what to avoid, and in deliberately choosing to “do the opposite” of the “jokers” whose leadership failures cast long shadows. This duality—the presence of both models and anti-models—enriches the legacy of lessons available to any leader willing to observe, reflect, and act.
The Rise of “Anti-Modeling” in Today’s Landscape
I want to pivot in this essay to a broader concern: the proliferation of “anti-models” in the modern public sphere, particularly in politics but increasingly within business. Today’s leadership rhetoric at the highest levels has grown more vitriolic, aggressive, and destabilizing. The danger is clear; as young business leaders witness and internalize these behaviors, they risk carrying them into their own spheres of influence with harmful consequences.
The tendency for leaders to “model” what they see is natural, but when what they see is corrosive, intolerant, and destabilizing, the effect is “deeply dangerous and concerning.” Thus, there is a pressing need to “call out” these trends, to say clearly that such behaviors are not worthy of emulation, and to offer positive alternatives.
Three Habits to Model Now: A Counterpoint to Anti-Modeling
Against this troubling backdrop, I want to share three fundamental leadership habits or traits that demand urgent modeling. These are not presented as abstract virtues, but as actionable, practical antidotes to the poisonous influence of anti-models.
Civility: Returning to the Foundation of Respect
The first trait is civility—a quality that seems almost quaint or outdated in an era dominated by shouting matches and online flame wars. Civility, as the Britannica Dictionary reminds us, is “polite, reasonable, and respectful behavior.” This is not a superficial politeness that glosses over difference or suppresses dissent, but an abiding respect for the humanity and dignity of others.
I lament that the “golden rule”—to treat others as you wish to be treated—has fallen out of favor, dismissed as old-fashioned; yet I argue for its renewed relevance! In organizations and communities where people must live and work together, civility is not optional; it is foundational. I must underscore the dangers of name-calling, derogatory language, and personal attacks—patterns that have become pervasive and corrosive.
Civility is more than the absence of rudeness; it is the active presence of empathy, listening, and the willingness to engage with difference without diminishing or demeaning. Leaders who model civility set a tone that enables collaboration, creativity, and trust. In so doing, they reinforce the most fundamental of all social principles, one desperately needed today.
Stability: The Anchor in Turbulent Times
Next, I want to highlight stability—a quality whose value becomes most apparent in times of crisis. Stability means being “not easily changed or likely to change,” “not easily moved,” and “emotionally or mentally healthy.” In an era marked by genuine emergencies and manufactured crises alike, stability is at a premium.
I need to draw a vivid contrast between autocratic leaders who generate instability for personal gain and the stabilizing influence of leaders who offer predictability and calm. The memory of leading Bolthouse Farms through the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic brings this concept to life. At that moment of unprecedented uncertainty, the simple act of showing up—consistently, reliably, with a steady demeanor—became a powerful reassurance to the team. . I remember specifically in the early days of Covid, during the summer of 2020 leading Bolthouse Farms and being the leading voice of daily and then weekly “Virtual Town Halls.” In those early days we had implemented stringent “physical separation” rules, and my “workstation” was at one end of the plant, far from my historic office. Thus, I worked out of a conference room next to a trusted work partner David’s office. I remember so clearly getting notes from team members saying they were happy and reassured “seeing me” on zoom from that same conference room, with the little Bolthouse Farms sign taped to the wall behind me. In that time of real crisis and emergency, having me show up on zoom, at first daily then ultimately weekly, was a reassuring sign of “stability” and predictability in a time when nothing seemed stable or predictable.
Stability is not the same as inertia or resistance to change; rather, it is the anchor that allows organizations to weather storms. Leaders who embody stability create environments where people feel safe enough to take risks, confident enough to innovate, and calm enough to persevere. The author encourages leaders to “find ways to be a calm, stable and predictable leader”—habits that will be recognized and appreciated by their organizations, especially in unsettled times.
Generosity of Spirit: Building Relationships Beyond the Zero-Sum Game
Finally, I want to turn to generosity of spirit—a quality that transcends transactional thinking. Generosity of spirit is “the quality of being kind, understanding, and not selfish,” and the willingness to give, not just of money, but of time, ideas, attention, and care.
Too many interactions today are governed by a “win/lose” logic rooted in a scarcity mindset I want to encourage Leaders to reject this paradigm. Instead, they should pursue “win/win” solutions, even though such outcomes require effort, imagination, and, above all, generosity. Generosity of spirit means being open with your time, sharing ideas and lessons, nurturing curiosity, and listening deeply to others. It is a refusal to be petty or self-protective. Leaders who embody this quality create cultures of trust, collaboration, and growth. Their influence extends well beyond the bottom line; it shapes the moral and emotional climate of their organizations.
Leadership as Deliberate Modeling: A Call to Action
In closing I want and need to reinforce that now, more than ever, our companies, teams, communities and countries NEED models (not anti-models) to bring better leadership traits to life.” The three virtues outlined—civility, stability, and generosity of spirit—are not abstract ideals but urgent necessities.
Every leader, whether in a boardroom, a classroom, a family, or in political office is a model. Others are watching, learning, and imitating. The choice, then, is not whether to be a model, but what kind of model to be.
I want this essay to be a clarion call to those with influence to reflect on the behaviors they transmit, to double down on the positive traits learned from the best leaders, and to be vigilant in recognizing—and rejecting—the toxic influences of anti-models. It is a reminder that the work of leadership is never finished, that each day brings fresh opportunities to embody and transmit values that will nourish organizations and communities for generations to come.
In modeling civility, stability, and generosity of spirit, leaders do not merely respond to the challenges of the day—they shape the world of tomorrow. The need has never been greater, and the time to start is now.
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